Patrick

jmjunkie @ 2006-03-01T20:36:00

2006-03-02T01:40:05Z

fuck everything, i feel shitty <3Patrick

jmjunkie @ 2006-02-25T22:40:00

2006-02-26T03:47:03Z

A - Available: sure am
A - Age: 17
A - Annoyance: my eyes are fucked up

B - Best Friend: Noah
B - Bar: Muthers?
B - Birthday: october 7th

C - Crush: haha jason schwartzman
C - Car: benzo
C - Cat: the love of my life

D - Dead Pets Name: Hal, Slimey the snake
D - Dads Name: Chris
D - Dog: i don't like them

E - Easiest person to talk to: buddah
E - Eggs: how about an omlet
E - Email: is for retards and pedophiles

F - Favorite color: green/orange
F - Food: thai
F - Foreign Slang: scottish

G - Gummy Bears or Worms: bears, i like to make them kiss and bite their heads off
G - God: maybe, i bet he's a big faggy man
G - Good Time: dance parties, walking on ice

H - Hair Color: don't got none
H - Height: 5'8"
H - Happy: the unicorns

I - Ice Cream: chocolate, french vanilla, cookie dough
I - Instrument: dickflute
I - Idol: JAMES

J - Jewelery: anything involving fish
J - Job: entertainer
J - Joke: i prefer stories

K - Kids: noah, ira, ezra, and flora? maybe just maybe
K - Karate: reminds me of that wierd guy who works at target who is super intense
K - Kung fu: hahaha

L - Longest Car Ride: detroit
L - Longest relationship: nope
L - Last Kiss: a week ago friday

M - Milk Flavor: regular
M - Mothers Name: Deborah
M - Movie Last Watched: Buffalo '66

N - Number of Siblings: 1 1/2
N - Northern or Southern: north!
N - Name: PAtrick

O - One Wish: mind blowing love
O - One Phobia: if i have kids they'll suck
O - Otter Pop: hahahaha

P - Parents, are they married or divorced: divorced
P - Part of your appearence you like best: my mouth, it's served me well
P - Part of your Personality you like best: sense of humor

Q - Quote: "I don't want to make money. I just want to be wonderful" ~ marilyn
Q - Question for the next person: how big is your dick?
(Last question: How many people have seen you naked? Answer: hahaha way too many to count
Q - Quick or Slow?: quick then slow then quick again

R - Reason to smile:amazing sex
R - Reality TV Show: project runway, duh
R - Right or Left: righty

S - Song Last Heard: i was born ~ unicorns
S - Season: fall
S - Sex: hahaha i perfer fucking

T - Time you woke: 12:30?
T - Time Now: 10:40
T - Time for bed: never

U - Unknown Fact about me: as a kid i used to draw on the walls when my dad was in the shower
U - Unicorns?: hahaha i was born a unicorn, i believe!
U - You are: megafab

V - Vegetable you hate: ummm onion is that one?
V - Vegetable you love: cantalope haha
V - View on Politics: haha politics are for oldies i have ideas

W - Worst Habits: i don't take your feelings seriously
W - Where are you going to travel next?: india would be nice
W -When was your first kiss?: freshman year, it was so romantic

X - X-Rays: read my mind
X - X-Rated Porn: i don't like the anal shit it's too graphic for me
X - X-tra special someone: haha i love phil

Y - Year you were born: 1988
Y - Year it is now: 2006
Y - Yellow: you're the little yellow bird i've been searching for

Z - Zoo Animal: holy shit elephants make my day
Z - Zodiac: Libra
Z - Zoolander: haha that takes me back to my 13th birthday... where you there?

jmjunkie @ 2006-02-25T22:03:00

2006-02-26T03:16:29Z

9 to 1

9 LASTS:

Last dollar spent: t-shirt yesterday
Last cigarette: minutes ago
Last beverage: juice
Last movie: Buffalo '66
Last phone call: no one for a while
Last song played: Love ~ john lennon
Last bubble bath: long ago
Last time you cried: haha today watching this thing about adoption
Last thing you ate: thai food

8 HAVE YOU EVERS:

Have you ever dated a best friend: no
Have you ever skinny dipped: yes haha
Have you ever kissed somebody and regretted it: no well maybe
Have you ever been dumped: no
Have you ever been drunk and threw up: haha yes
Have you ever ran away: yes
Have you ever given up everything for someone? no but i would, are you that person?
Have you ever scratched your fingernails down a chalk board? no that sounds painful

7 STATES YOU'VE BEEN TO:

1. New York
2. Flordia
3. Massachusettes
4. Vermont
5. Michigan
6. Pennsylvania
7. Euphoria

6 THINGS YOU DID TODAY:

1. went shopping and didn't buy anything
2. pet the cat
3. woke up
4. drank some coffee
5. watched tv
6. this stupid survey

5 OF YOUR FAVORITE THINGS: (NO ORDER)

1. boys
2. kittens
3. movies that change you
4. technicolored, worn in tshirts
5. barefoot on the beach

4 PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ANYTHING TO:(NO ORDER)

1. Katelyn
2. my cat
3. myself
4. strangers

3 THINGS THAT MAKE YOU SMILE:

1. retards
2. sweet old gays
3. porn

2 THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:

1. bake a gigantic cake
2.

1 thing that you cannot live without
human interaction

dumb dumb dumb i'm bored

2006-02-25T04:41:11Z

Your gender: BOY
Straight/gay/bi?: gaygaygaygay
Single?: uhhhuuuh
Want to be?: ummm kind of
Your birth day: october 7
Age you wish you were: 18
The color of your eyes: blueeee
Piercings? lipface
Tattoos: i wish

DO YOU...

Read the newspaper: gross old men do that
Talk to strangers: haha online
Take walks in the rain: sometimes
Drive: nope but i have a nice car sitting in the driveway
Like to drive fast?: i suppose i would
Hurt yourself: emotionally
Been out of the country: yea
Been in love: fuck that
Gone skinny dipping: haha drunk?
Had a surgery: not that i remember
Ran away from home: when i was little but only to the backyard
Played strip poker: haha yea
Been on stage: yea that was a good time
Slept outdoors: camping?
Pulled an all-nighter: yea with my brother once
Talked on the phone all night: haha yes i am that gay
Slept all day: most of it
Killed someone: hahahahaha
Made out with a stranger: kind of
Had sex with a stranger: i would never
Kissed the same sex: nope
Been betrayed: yea
Broken the law: what one?
Met a famous person: john mayer haha
Been on radio/tv: no i don't think so
Been in a mosh-pit: haha yes i was scared
Had a nervous breakdown: i don't think so maybe in my head
Had a dream that kept coming back: sex dreams
Shoe brand: pumaaa baby
School: penfield
Wear hats: no way
Judged other people by their clothing: haha fuck yea
Like to wear make-up: a bit of lip liner
Favorite place to shop: goodwill, salvos
Favorite article of clothing: john lennon pin, my beads (i think i lost them) jeans
Are you trendy: not in a gross way

BELIEFS...

Believe in life on other planets: little green people
Miracles: maybe
Astrology: that's bullshit but it's cute
Magic: yea
Santa: he's at the mall sometimes
Ghosts: maybe, i'm affraid not to
Birth: no it's a myth
Love at first sight: haha no, infatuation maybe
Yin and Yang: i believe in finding a balance
Witches: that reminds me of cat robsin
Easter bunny: donnie darko?
Been in love: no no no
Still love him/her: yes yes yes
Do you consider love a mistake: no but sex can be
What do you find romantic: kissing
Turn-ons: good teeth, skinny, rib bones, hip bones, tattoos, thick wrists hahaa
Turn-offs: fattys
Do you base your judgment on looks alone: what does that even mean
Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out: haha no
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive: haha yes but i was retarded
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking: haha yes, too bad vaginas are sticky
What is best about the opposite sex: they're unthreatening
What's the last present someone gave you: my mom gave me chocolates for v-day
Do you like someone at this moment?: lots of kids

LAST PERSON...

That you laughed at: this lady who fell in oprah
That laughed at you: everyone is laughing at me
You went shopping with: my mom and stepdad
To disappoint you: my cat, he left me
To make you cry: my parents hahaha
That brightened up your day: katelyn, maybe dave, nope katelyn
Person you were with last night: just me myself and i
You saw a movie with: haha brokeback mt. with my mom
You talked to on the phone: my grandpa breifly
You talked to through IM: dave
You hung out with: haha my parents

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU...

Smiled and meant it: ummm
Laughed: today at oprah
Cried: few days ago?
Bought something: today, a t-shirt
Danced: today to sublime in my room
Where are you?: my house
Hugged/kissed someone: last night, my mom
Talked to an ex: hahhaa a long time ago
Watched your fav movie: the day before v-day
Listened to the radio: today in the car
Watched TV: a litle while ago, what not to wear
Went out: days ago
Helped someone: i like to think i'm always helping
Said "I love you" and meant it: today to my cat

chica mi tipo

2006-02-15T03:50:32Z

fuck i love this song so much, it makes me hot <3
I <3 Bradley's Spanish

No importa que se lleva, porque todo se quitara
(it doesn't matter what you wear, because you're going to take it all off)

Ay, no puedo verlo, ni el figura
(but no, i can't look at you, not even your figure)

Cuando empecemos, no me dio cuenta
(when we began, i did not realize)

De que luego, tuviera que pagar
(that afterwards, i would have to pay)

Pero si se cambie, me voy a acostarme con ti, con ti
(but if things change, i'm going to lay down with you, with you)

No me propongo predicar, vive y deja vivir
(i'm not trying to preach, live and let live)

Pero el amigo es un condon en el bolsillo
(but a man's best friend is a condom in his pocket)

Yo no soy medico, no soy chapusero
(i am not a doctor, i am not a joker)

Solamente soy pobre, y ya estoy tan solo
(i am only poor, and now i am so alone)

Pero si se cambie, ella seria la mia,
(but if things change, she will be mine,)

Happy Valintines Day, i hope some of you kids got laid haha
<3Patrick

setting son

2006-02-10T02:03:10Z

Oh god, i feel so broken. I can't believe that it's real, it didn't seem real until a few hours ago and now it's more real than anything. I just can't stop crying, and i didn't even think it would be this powerful, i didn't even think i would be this effected by it. It's devistating, seeing his mom was the worst and thinking about times that i've flirted with the idea of taking my own life. It's not fucking worth it, it causes so much pain. What was in your head that night Ben? I feel like i need to know more than anything what you were thinking. He didn't look like himself, that wasn't him laying there. I feel sick to my stomach, i wasn't that close to him but i feel so connected to him, like i've been where he was. I've felt that hopelessness, that could have been me. He must have been in so much pain he must have hidden it and lived with it for so long or i don't know. What now? I can't not think about it, it's consuming me and i hate it. I feel like tonight has changed me in a way that i can't explain, i feel it deep within me an overwhelming sadness that i can't get rid of. Ben where ever the fuck you are i hope you can see us and your family and how much we all care about you and how much love was in that room tonight. I'm so sorry you couldn't find hope or this world just became too shitty, i'm so sorry you're gone.

The King's crossing was the main attraction
Dominoes falling in a chain reaction
The scraping subject ruled by fear told me
Whiskey works better than beer
The judge is on vinyl, decisions are final
And nobody gets a reprieve
And every wave is tidal
If you hang around you're going to get wet

jmjunkie @ 2006-01-20T16:02:00

2006-01-21T21:04:42Z

I got into Purchase yay yay yay yayyyyyyyy i'm the happiest boy on earth, now all i have to do is graduate haha

jmjunkie @ 2006-01-19T14:50:00

2006-01-19T19:51:21Z

school is hard <3

DRUG RANT

2006-01-17T06:18:14Z

So I quit drug group today and my mom is going crazy because she wants me to stay sober more than anything in the world, and she told me that if i stay off drugs for two months then i can get my license. I don't know if i want to be sober, or if i could even do it if i really wanted to and i don't want to go to some other drug group or residential or impaitient because it won't help me. People don't realize they have no control over the situation. If i really want to do drugs i'm going to no matter what you do nothing you can do will stop me. But i don't know if i want to keep doing drugs anymore. It's not a party if it's happening every night. I'm just so sick of counselers and people who have no idea what they're talking about who think they have all the anwsers. Too much therapy makes me hate myself and i don't think that's the desired effect. I just can't do it, i'm crawling out of my skin thinking about all the shit in my head and i just want to get out. I've realized i'd just rather not feel, it'd be so much easier to be numb all the time, no pain, just pure distraction all the time. Then they ask stupid ass question like what are your reasons for using?, and what is your thought process blah blah blah blah blah blah. I don't think, i'm impulsive. There is no reason behind it sometimes i just like to smoke pot. Shit soon they'll be studying my dreams and giving me shock therapy. I love smoking, but i want to stop. I should stop, to make her happy and so i can start to actually have real relationships where i talk to people and we have conversations instead of this superficial small talk. I feel so disconnected and i can't get rid of it. I feel so down and anxious and uncertain and i know something has to change. Why not stop smoking pot? It does cause a lot of problems but i like it so much and i have fun when i smoke and it's not endangering my safety and other people just make it a big deal and fuck it being illeagl that's not even an argument. Everything is just as shitty when you're sober though, people buy into the myth that if you stay away from drugs you'll be happy and everything will be like the fucking brady bunch or something but that's bullshit, because i've been clean and i've been miserable. How would you like to be treated like an addict all the time and have people constantly looking at you like you're on drugs, accusing you of stealing money. Are you high? What are you on? You'll end up like you're fucking father if you keep down this path... just wait, we're all expecting it. You're going to fuck up just like you're old man and everyone will say Patrick was such a troubled boy but we saw it coming, i mean what can you expect with a father like that. And i am fucking up. I have to much shit to deal with in my head to focus on school, and i just hate it there now, apart from art class the day is agonizing and i just want out, people tell me to just go to class and just do the work, you're almost done but i hate it, i hate it more than i can explain. I'm sick of people telling me to hang on a little more and soon you'll see results, soon you'll find the right medication to fix your personality defect. Maybe if i'm fixed, you'll feel better about yourself, less crazy because arn't i just a reflection of you? My self worth is at an all time low. But then there are days when i feel amazing and everything is great, so what the fuck is that about? I just feel like writing this down because i don't talk to anyone anymore, i can't get close to people. Fear of vulnerability. This is shit that has been drilled into my head for years and i can't stand hearing it. Treat me like a person, i'm so tired of this catch phrase mentality one size fits all therapy, one day at a time, people places and things, how are you feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllinggggg? Shitty, confused, torn, tired, angry, bitter, resentful, hopeless, depressed. I just have to think about why i like drugs so much there must be a reason. In the program they tell you that if you work hard and try and do everything they tell you then you'll be cured, but what if it doesn't work for everyone. Well obviously it doesn't work for everyone because people are still using. People are pretending and bullshitting and saying they're clean and then using some twelve year old boy's piss for the tests. And if you're honest haha oh fuck if you tell them the truth, that you still want to do drugs and you don't want to stop they think you're fucked up like what the hell why can't you learn from other people's stories and realize nothing good can come of this... and Billy is making so much progress you could learn from him, FUCK THAT, HE'S GOT YOU ASSHOLES FOOLED. Billy is smoking a blunt behind the barn after group and Billy is coming to group drunk and you're so fucking dumb you can't even tell. Oh i've seen such a change in Billy's attitude, he's so honest and trustworthy. Nope, he's just lying to you he's lying, and you're eating it up. At least i tell you i want to keep doing drugs. I don't even know if i do. I might be quitting and people think that's funny because i've said it so many times before, it's like no i'm really not lying this time, this time i'm really trying. I wouldn't believe me, i'm a known liar. This could all be made up. Think back to every conversation you've ever had with me, i bet a lot of it was lies. I'm not even honest with myself, i don't even know what honesty is anymore. My story, my version of the truth becomes the truth to me. If i believe it and you can't dispute it then why isn't it true? Or maybe it's the truth in bits and peices, but the rest is just shit i throw in to fuck with your mind. Maybe i just like watching you believe my lies, it makes me feel better, smarter. God i'm fucked, this isn't even a tenth of the shit in my head. I jsut want to sleep forever sometimes i find myself wishing i wouldn't wake up. I'm not suicidal, i don't want to die. But i think about it often and the possiblility of death isn't something i worry about. I see myself dying tragically, quickly. I'd hate to think i'd live a completly boring life and die of cancer or something, how is that happiness. It's all or nothing, i want to live and paint and create and feel or i want to shut down and sleep and numb myself out. I often consider that i might be crazy, although i don't think i am i can feel myself slipping into the gray area sometimes. I don't know if that makes sense. haha i wrote too much and i'm tired so i'm going to bed... goodnight <3

<3Patrick

jmjunkie @ 2006-01-16T00:36:00

2006-01-16T05:36:38Z

i think i'm deleting this shit because people never comment anymore and it depresses me <3Patrick

ITunes fun

2006-01-11T01:28:03Z

Sort by song title:
* First Song: (Nice Dream) ~ Radiohead
* Last Song: Young Pilgrim ~ The Shins

Sort by time:
* Shortest Song: Horn Intro ~ The Dirty Dozen Brass Band
* Longest Song: Tereza and Thomas ~ Bright Eyes

Sort by album:
* First Song: Trenchtown Rock ~ Bob and the Wailers
* Last Song: Jellybones ~ The Unicorns

Top 10 most played songs:
1. The man who sold the world ~ Nirvana
2. Champange from a papper cup ~ Death Cab
3. 3rd Planet ~ Modest Mouse
4. About a Girl ~ Nirvana
5. Phone Call ~ Jon Broin
6. You're so Damn Hot ~ Ok Go
7. Road To Joy ~ Bright Eyes
8. Elephant Parade ~ Jon Broin
9. Tiny Cities Made of Ashes ~ Modest Mouse
10. Lullabye ~ Horrible Horrible

First five songs that come up on shuffle:
1. A Space Boy Dream ~ Belle and Sabastian
2. Heard Em Say ~ Adam Lavine
3. On a Plain ~ Nirvana
4. Wouldn't it be Nice ~ Beach Boys
5. A Fond Fairwell ~ Elliot Smith

Search...
"sex", how many songs come up?: 0
"love", how many songs come up?: 0
"you", how many songs come up?: 6
"death", how many songs come up?: 4
"hate", how many songs come up?: 0
"wish", how many songs come up?: 0

winter of our discontent

2006-01-08T21:38:30Z

So school has been alright except if i don't get my shit together i might not graduate, i need to start doing better in gym and economics and film studies... My display case is up and i'm so proud, i think i was supposed to take it down but i didn't yet. Friday i went to my dad's and we watched this really good movie called Imaginary Heros or something, i just liked it because the mom smokes pot and two boys kiss on new years. I'm a sucker for that gay shit. Then last night i went over to Katelyn's and we played, we watched home movies and called a bunch of people to come hang out with us but everyone was busy for the most part... i want lo main or however you spell it, it's like chinese noodles or some shit, real real good. Sometimes i just start crying for no reason it's really wierd, maybe i'm fucked up or emotionally short circuiting. I hate Carmen San Diego. I love these boys...

i think i'm drunk enough to drive you home now, i'll keep my mouth kept shut under lock and key

<3Patrick

John<3

2005-12-09T00:07:34Z

imagine there's no heaven
it's easy if you try
no hell below us
above us, only sky
imagine all the people
living for today
imagine there's no country
it isn't hard to do
nothing to kill or die for
and no religion too
imagine all the people
living life in peace
YOU, YOU MAY SAY I'M A DREAMER
BUT I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE
I HOPE SOME DAY YOU'LL JOIN US
AND THE WORLD WILL BE AS ONE...

how could one man touch so many millions of people to the core with his music in such a short time?
how does his voice shake my soul every time i hear this song
it's just so so sad...

jmjunkie @ 2005-11-26T22:30:00

2005-11-27T03:42:37Z

making a huge blockbuster version of rent and sitting in a theatre full of old ladies and men who think that boy dressed up as a girl is so funny and AIDs is cute but who really cares? and wow these kids are hilarious with their silly protests and songs takes away all of the meaning in my opinion, wow tonight has been pretty shitty, i'm tired but i don't feel like sleeping and i've realized that i don't really have any friends and haven't for awhile, i mean i talk to people sometimes but i don't tell them anything and i feel so isolated but i think that's the way it has to be because i don't understand other people or like many of them. It's so depressing sitting here doing nothing on a saturday night and i'm constantly asking myself "what's the point" what's the point of trying or even waking up when everything is so shitty hahaha and i love feeling sorry for myself it's what i do best, i feel so fucking alone really really really alone and it sucks but i can't see it any other way i can't be close to people, everyone has given up on me and that's a delightful feeling, everyone expects me to fuck up and i don't think i'll dissapoint them, i'm so tired of everything, if nothing changes then nothing changes, that was the topic tonight but my people places and things haven't changed they've just wiped themselves out they're gone, everyone is so busy telling stories, like oh fuck remember the other day when this happened, i just want to live but i don't know how or even what that means, my attitude sucks and i would hate to be around me, god i'm boring, i'm so predictable, the snow is beautiful but it's heavy and i'm sinking fast, i'm tired of seeing the same old faces and having the same old conversations, the same jokes. What the fuck is the point? I'm told that i'm on a self destructive path and everything is just going to keep getting worse and i believe it but part of me doesn't even care, i'm not that worried about what's going to happen to me. what is there to stick around for anyway, i just want to leave and never come back just leave forever without a trace i feel so expendable worthless, god i'm tired...

jmjunkie @ 2005-11-25T15:46:00

2005-11-25T20:45:48Z

stupid bitches need to learn when to keep their mouths shut <3Patrick

Chloe Sevigny

2005-11-23T01:13:45Z

Oh god i want to be her i think she's amazing <3Patrick

gay kids

2005-11-20T15:39:06Z

I love Dolce&Gabbana soooo much <3
my dream is to someday walk a runway in new york wearing nothing but a tiny speedo hahahahahaha can you picture it kids?

Last night was a good time, my brother is back in town so after Olivia's play we went down to Javas with some theatre folks for the cast party, most of them were utterly obnoxious but it was good to be out and i like spending time with Olivia and Mike they're cute together. Mike understands. I got my cell phone back so you kids should call me all the time. Have you ever heard of Boys Gone Wild? haha it's a real thing when i heard about it i laughed for hours. It's drunk college-esque boys getting drunk and naked, i'm sure you get the idea... I think i'm going goodwill shopping with my mom and my aunt today, it should be fun and low key. I don't know why i'm writting in here i never do i guess i'm just bored. If you've read this far then i like you. I'm reading this book called Queer by Willam S. Burroughs who is offically my new favorite dead person. Very good book, everything he writes is magnetic. Phil Redfield is obsessed with Ashley's livejournal. Okay that's all i got adios kids...

<3Patrick

ps. i know you have a heavy heart i can feel it when we kiss, so many men stronger than me have thrown their backs out trying to lift it, but me i'm not a gamble you can count on me to split, the love i sell you in the evening by the morning won't exist

i'm so bored

2005-10-15T22:14:35Z

13 random things you like
01) fishsticks
02) the fall (season not band)
03) sweaters
04) the feeling you get when you just woke up and you streach in bed
05) biographies
06) really gay sappy movies with lots of guy on guy action
07) sarah jessica parker
08) walking barefoot on sidewalks
09) the color orange
10) intense dreams
11) body lotion
12) IFC
13) angel hair spaghetti

7 things about you ... physically
01) blue eyes
02) big hands haha
03) wierd trailing off eyebrows
04) crazy brown hair
05) skinny
06) hairy toes
07) chewed finger nails

8 favorite drinks
01) thai iced tea
02) lemonade
03) root beer
04) milkshakes
05) vodka
06) coffee
07) fruit juices
08) snapple

7 things you wear daily
01) jeans
02) t-shirt
03) lip ring
04) a belt
05) sweaters
06) jackets with pockets
07) goodwill stuff

6 things that annoy you
01) stupid boys who arn't ready to be gay
02) alergies
03) annoying people who think they know everything
04) homework
05) my parents
06) the cops

5 things you touch everyday
01) my hair
02) cd player
03) dick
04) key board
05) kitty

4 shows you watch
01) america's next top model
02) sex and the city
03) law and order: svu
04) breaking bonaduce haha

3 celebrities you have a crush on
01) jake gyllenhall or however you spell it especially as a gay cowboy
02) whoever stars in Thumbsucker
03) makulli khulcan, fuck i can't spell

BIRTHDAY

2005-10-08T04:03:16Z

Hey it's my birthday and i'm watching Degrassi
and i got a new cell phone and i'm very excited, i need all of you to call me
my new number is 4699966 verrrryyyy easy to remember
call me at all hours of the night and as soon as you hear about
any sort of party! CALL ME BITCHES! <3Patrick

things...

2005-09-19T23:12:00Z

So things are weird i don't even know why i'm updating
i'm bored, saw Iker today and it was pleasant
many boy options but i don't know about that
i missed homecoming and i'm pissed
i love Terry
I'm excited for my birthday i think my mom is going to
take me to syracuse to go shopping at the big mall
because i like H&M
school is so hard i have the worst case of senioritis
damn the man my sclupture for portfolio rules <3Patrick

I need money

2005-09-11T23:49:13Z

My dad said he would give me some money if i could find someone to buy his drum set, it's a really nice one with like four cymbals or whatever ummm i think he's asking around 1,600 for it so if you're rich and interested comment and tell me... <3Patrick

slight schedule change

2005-08-25T02:38:40Z

I had dinner the other night with my mom and my brother and said goodbye to Mike, he's leaving for college on saturday and i won't see him again for a while, that was sad. Had an intense car ride with my mom. I went to the mall today and got a zip up thing from the Gap that was exciting, i talked to my mom, emma, and ashley on the phone and all were good conversations. I miss my mom so much it's crazy. Everything is looking up.. here is my schedule tell me if we have classes together! This year is going to be cake!

EDIT*********

Portfolio ~ Weltch
Economics ~ Gaby
Leadership ~ Mutch(sp?)
Lunch
Free/Gym ~ Heart
AP Lit ~ Mutch
Math ~ Birx <333333
Film Study ~ Hardy
Free

<3Patrick

where the fuck is jesus when i need him?

2005-08-18T06:08:08Z

So how does spending your senior year in manchester sound? My mother took me shopping the other day and it was entirly pleasant until she told me that at the moment she doesn't think it'd be safe for me to go back to Penfield this fall... fuck i don't know i'm supposed to write my mom some thing to convince her that i've changed enough to come back there for school but i'm just so tired of bullshit and really fucking depressed that i feel sort of defeated. If my mom and my step dad do let me go back before school i'd have to spend my weekends in manchester anyway, i wouldn't be able to see anyone except maybe Ashley and Emma, and i'd have to tolerate my step father.... maybe i should just make friends out here in hicksville or just be like the wierd kid that no one likes because he's gay and takes pictures and says dumb thing and be really lonely and sad all the time. I went to Detroit this weekend for baseball, incredable city. I had a wierd encounter with a 41 year old woman named Regina who says she thinks she is one of gods messangers and that it's a sin to be gay, she talked to me for like a half hour and she was really polite and friendly, she used to be a lesbian and no she "has no sexual feelings twards women at all" and the worst thing is that i let her really really get to me. I mean i'm not going to randomly start liking girls but i don't know she planted a seed of doubt and for some reason i can't get her out of my head. I got some back to school clothes and they're cute. We dropped my brother off at home tonight on the way back from Detroit and i saw my cat and i picked him up and he acted like he didn't even recognize me, i want to go home, i want to see all my frineds and sleep in my own bed and have my own space. I'm crazy and emotional all the time and i walk around feeling like i'm a second away from crying all day. I don't know what's wrong with me, i try to avoid this teenage bullshit. I'm seuxally frustraited and bored out of my mind. I barly leave the house. A week ago i was seriously considering hitching my way down to New York but i know i wouldn't make it even half way and i have no money, i don't know what to do i'm jsut tired but i can't sleep and things seem hopeless...

<3Patrick

Pretty Boy

2005-08-09T22:06:10Z

I'm thinking about growing my hair out and dying it white like Andy's... haha what do you kids think? am i crazy?

The Circle Goes Unbroken

2005-08-02T01:52:50Z

Hey kids, so this past weekend was the earth shattering sequal to Camp Creek 2004, and i will proudly say that it was as much fun if not more fun than last year. Fuck, i love camping. I got very dirty and went barefoot for a good portion of the weekend. Wierd hippie boys offered me free drugs. The music was cataclismic. I danced so fast i thought i might explode. Everyone was friendly and a great time was had by all. You should all be sad that you missed it. I stayed up so late and had some quality experiences with Mike. Played some frisbee. Ate Spagetti a few yards away from "naked man". Haha the last day was sort of depressing because it rained so they didn't get to close the fest but i will deffinatly go back next year and for many many years to come.

So today i went to the library with Johnathan, it was more fun than it sounds. I saw Iker and we had this really intense meeting with both my parents. I'm so pissed at my mom and i can't help it. She wants to take me shopping hahaha fuck i think i might go because it's the right thing to do and i'm trying to be like a decent person but i'm not very good at it. Had Chinese. So then i watched this crazy movie on IFC called like the Last Footage or something haha i know that's not it but i can't remeber the name of it. Then i walked to the store and got catfood for Norman and there was a really pretty sunset, i took photos of the cat food on the railroad tracks and then of this really funky graffiti miral thing. I was listening to the ESOTSM soundtrack and it was a moment, let me tell you....